The Nervous System & Social Anxiety
Social anxiety isn’t just about shyness or being introverted—it’s deeply tied to the nervous system. When someone experiences social anxiety, their autonomic nervous system (ANS) perceives social interactions as a potential threat, activating a fight-or-flight response. This can lead to symptoms like a racing heart, sweaty palms, shallow breathing, mental fog, or even dissociation.
The Nervous System and Social Anxiety
The polyvagal theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, helps explain why social anxiety feels so overwhelming. The vagus nerve plays a key role in determining whether we feel safe or threatened in social situations.
Ventral Vagal (Safe & Connected State): When this branch is dominant, we feel grounded, open, and socially engaged. Conversations feel natural, and eye contact is comfortable.
Sympathetic (Fight-or-Flight State): If the nervous system detects social situations as threatening, it can trigger hyperarousal—leading to overthinking, panic, sweating, or the urge to escape.
Dorsal Vagal (Shutdown State): If the anxiety becomes too intense, the nervous system may shift into a freeze response—resulting in numbness, disconnection, difficulty speaking, or wanting to disappear.
Why Does Social Anxiety Develop?
Social anxiety often originates from early nervous system wiring. It can stem from experiences where social interactions felt unsafe—whether from childhood experiences, past embarrassment, chronic stress, or environments that didn’t provide a sense of secure connection. If the nervous system has learned to associate social situations with danger, it continues to react as though they are a threat.
How SE Helps with Social Anxiety
In Somatic Experiencing (SE), we don’t force the body to engage before it’s ready. Instead, we work with the nervous system, gently guiding it toward safety and connection.
✔️ Tracking Sensations: Instead of getting lost in anxious thoughts, SE brings attention to body signals—tightness in the chest, a held breath, or a sense of bracing. By noticing these, we create space for micro-releases and shifts.
✔️ Pendulation (Easing In & Out): Instead of jumping into overwhelming situations, SE works with small, manageable steps. Feeling activated? We pendulate back to something resourcing—a breath, a supportive touch, the feeling of your feet on the ground.
✔️ Building Capacity: Rather than eliminating anxiety, SE helps expand the nervous system’s capacity to tolerate connection. Over time, what once felt unsafe begins to feel possible, then comfortable, then natural.
✔️ Co-Regulation: Safe, attuned relationships—whether with a therapist, a trusted friend, or even horses—help the nervous system learn that connection isn’t a threat but a source of support.
The Body Knows How to Heal
Social anxiety isn’t a flaw—it’s an adaptive response. And because the nervous system is wired for connection, it can also relearn safety.
Healing doesn’t come from forcing yourself into social situations—it comes from listening to your body, honoring its pace, and gently guiding it back to the truth: connection is natural—you just need to give yourself the space to remember.